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Should I pursue a career as a writer?One of the things that this project has opened my eyes to (completely apart from the actual content of the readings) is how mentally and emotionally exhausting it is to force yourself to write for several hours a day. Even at my most prolific, I never had to push myself to write as much as I did to make sure my OOTK write-ups and my daily readings both got posted on time. And after reading/listening to other writers talk about how difficult the path of professional writing can be, I began to reconsider my somewhat lifelong aspiration to writerhood.

So I decided to do a simple five-card decision spread, with the question being “Should I pursue a career as a writer, or keep it a hobby?” The top cards represent the outcome of each particular path, the middle cards represent what draws me to this path, and the final card represents my current situation, or the crossroads at which I stand. We’ll begin with this card. The left hand path represents choosing to be a professional (hah) writer, the right hand path represents choosing to keep my writing a hobby.

You know something’s up when the first card you draw is the Devil. This card could have a myriad of meanings that fit my situation, but most likely it means that I’m seeking a path out of financial bondage or that I’m tempted in some way relating to this decision. Its main meaning is being limited, and so it’s my feeling of being limited that is pushing me to even consider the question in the first place.

The first card on the left hand path to being a professional writer is the Five of Pentacles. This card reinforces that idea of being limited, since it represents financial troubles like losing a job or unexpected expenses, as well as being physically run down or neglected (which isn’t so true lately, but used to be). This is my main reason for wanting to pursue writing; I think I’m good enough at it to make a little money – at least enough to get me by for a while. My money issues are pressing down on me and will only get worse from here, if I don’t do something.

The first card on the right hand path to keeping my writing a hobby is the Queen of Swords. This card implies that the writing I do only for myself is in some ways more honest. I don’t have to answer to anyone for the content or quality of my writing. I can write how I feel like writing instead of trying to cater to a certain demographic.

The second card on the left hand path to being a professional writer is the Six of Pentacles. This card represents the give-and-take relationship; it is somewhat tricky to interpret because it is a card that can represent either extreme of a situation – poverty and wealth, leader and follower, giving and receiving a gift – or both extremes at the same time. Most of all, though, it asks me to reconsider my situation. It could be that I stand to either gain everything or lose everything in the gambit; do I really know which side of this relationship I’m on? Maybe I will achieve my goal, but at what cost?

The second card on the right hand path to keeping my writing a hobby is the Chariot. This card is somewhat odd to draw here because it primarily symbolizes victory, but can also mean achieving control. This seems to say that while keeping my writing a hobby will let me “have my way,” I’ll have to take the bad with the good, and the victory I attain may be a somewhat pyrrhic one.

Just for fun I drew the shadow card (from the bottom of the deck) which turned out to be the Queen of Wands. This suggests that whatever I choose, I need to do it with wholehearted conviction and stick to my decision when I make it. I can’t afford to spend energy wondering and wishing about the path I could have taken.

Overall, not the clear-cut reading I was really hoping for, but I suppose it’s to be expected. Now that I have a general idea about this decision, I think I need to refocus and take a different approach to asking about it. Perhaps then I can finally lay the issue to rest.

[This reading was done on 10/4/13 at 11:59pm]

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