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Who am I?

 

Laying here under my electric blanket, my only shield against the cold, harsh realities of life, I feel overwhelmed with this philosophical feeling. In my imagination, the mysteries of the universe open up to me, and I gaze out at creation in awe and wonder. The stars whisper to me their secrets as I ride across the galaxies on a burning comet, leaving a vapor trail of sparkling dream dust. As I skirt the event horizon of an ancient black hole, I can only stare into the abyss and ask, “Who am I?”

Just kidding, I totally stole the idea for today’s spread from this girl. Trying to top the Dragon and Triforce spreads with last week’s Pokémon spread left me feeling tapped out all week, so I’m scaling it waaaay back and doing a simple “Who am I?” spread — but with a twist! For each point in the star I drew the shadow card as well, from the bottom of each pile, which I chose to interpret as reverse cards for no reason in particular. I normally don’t use reversals so this will be good practice for me.

The first step in doing this spread is to separate your deck into the Major Arcana, the court cards, and each individual suit, giving you six piles total. I chose to shuffle all of these piles individually after separating them out (not that they were in order anyway). Next, draw a court card and place it in the center – this is you. Then you want to draw a Major Arcana for the top point of the star, and going either clockwise or counterclockwise, lay down a card from each of the four suits.

This is you – Knight of Swords. No real surprise here. Blunt, opinionated, and analytical, sarcasm is like a second language. I can be brutally honest, but I choose my words carefully. I also have a medical condition called Stupidity Intolerance Disorder. If I think for a moment you indulge in habitual willful ignorance, I won’t hesitate to cut you out of my life.

What embodies you – Temperance. This card suggests a pulling together of disparate elements in order to form a cohesive whole. It also has connotations of balance and finding the middle road. This is pretty much the approach I take to everything. I don’t so much have role models as much as role…behaviors. When I see someone do something in a way that I like, I emulate that behavior; even if that person doing it isn’t someone I really care for at all. It’s how I approach spirituality as well, informing myself about different belief systems and seeing what resonates with truth. Whenever I want to learn to do something new, I try to learn all the best techniques for it and use them in concert, rather than taking on one whole discipline and following it strictly.

What grounds you – Two of Pentacles. In the same style as Temperance, this card is typically interpreted to be about balance, although it doesn’t quite carry the same weight. This seems to say that I’m most grounded when I go with the flow and adapt quickly, forcing myself not to settle and get into a rut. This constant balancing act keeps me honest with myself, because I learn very quickly what I need to keep hold of and what I need to let go of.

What affect you – Nine of Cups. This card can symbolize dreams coming true, getting desired results, and experiencing sensual pleasure. This is, uh, probably a little more accurate than I’d like to admit. My “love language” is definitely physical touch, and I do spend a lot of time daydreaming. There’s no greater feeling than a project coming together in JUST the way you imagined it, or even better than you’d hoped. Y’know, other than sex I guess.

What inflames you – Three of Wands. There’s an old saying – it’s not the destination that’s important, it’s the journey. Well, that’s bullshit. However, there are few things as exciting to me as exploring the unknown and blazing a trail (maybe literally) through the wilderness, using all my wisdom and expertise to survive what challenges may come. I don’t go unprepared though; I take a long time in planning and getting myself ready so that when the time comes to take the leap, there’s nothing holding me back.

What elevates you – Ace of Swords. Been a while since this one came up for me. This card is about primary mental force and the singular search for truth. I’m at my most spiritual when putting the pieces together (Temperance) that allow me to see clearly the essence of a person, teaching, or situation. I bring all my knowledge and experience to bear in order to cut through illusions.

This paints a pretty nice picture of who I am – but every hero has his shadow, as they say. Now that we’ve completed the five-pointed Star, it’s time to take a look at the Shadow Star. This set of inverted cards displays my weaknesses, or the person that I could become if I gave into my darker desires that bring out the worst in me.

 

 

Who amn't I?

 

This is you – King of Pentacles Reversed. Normally this card is all about generosity and reliability, but as its position illustrates, I have the potential to be greedy and obsessive, letting money slip through my fingers as I ineffectually try to throw it at my problems. This takes being stubborn to a whole new level of obstinance. It’s my way or the highway, and no I won’t give you a quarter to call someone who cares.

What embodies you – Strength Reversed. Put simply, the opposite of Strength is Weakness. It depicts a nature of constant worry and self-doubt, as resources are frittered away on temporary pleasures. It also implies a lack of discipline, allowing distractions to take up the time and energy that would be better spent on trying to accomplish my goals.

What unbalances you – Queen of Pentacles Reversed. This card could perhaps show being attached to a woman who is just as petty, obsessive, and insecure as the Reversed King who is childishly obsessed over her. They feed off of each other’s insecurities in a cycle of negativity. It could also point toward a fixation on an “ideal match” and holding vastly unattainable standards.

What isolates you – Ace of Cups Reversed. This points to a lack of empathy that comes from being self-absorbed and repressive. As such, whenever I talk I want to talk about me, and I tend to gush out all the repressed emotions about the perceived trials and tribulations of my life. Truth be told, his rollercoaster ride of emotions is mainly self-induced.

What frustrates you – Eight of Wands Reversed. Delays, delays, delays. Impatience is the mother of all frustration. I can’t wait for things to line up or obstacles to clear out – so I jump in and and do it anyway. This inevitably leads to screwing things up and wasting time (and probably money) cleaning up the mess. Having so many ideas bouncing around in my head like hailstones makes me impulsive and unfocused, so I start doing one thing and by the end I have twenty things to finish.

What depresses you – Six of Swords Reversed. Normally a card of leaving the past behind and starting anew, reversed it indicates an inability to deal with emotional baggage that is holding you back. This typifies the person who lives in the past, constantly beats himself up over past mistakes, and resists necessary transition. It could also imply holding onto grudges, and refusing to forgive people for supposedly “unforgivable” deeds.

 

Ah, the journey of self-discovery comes to a close. That wraps up this reading, I suppose. Be sure to go to the Enchanted Learner‘s blog and give her some love. Like me, she’s just beginning her tarot journey – kind of.

 

[This reading was done on 10/20/13 at 11:23pm EST]

 

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3 Comments

  1. The inverted pentagram actually describes my dad pretty well.

  2. I like the way you use shadow cards, especially in this reading. It was a broader perspective, and yet more detailed.

    • Thanks! This was my first time using reversals, so it was an interesting experience. Usually I try to incorporate the positive and negative aspects of every card into the reading, based on its position in the spread.


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